I haven’t written much over here for a while – mostly because I’ve been writing a weekly blog for the BDN. But something happened today that seemed worth writing about here on my personal blog.

There’s something I want to say to my teenage self. I pay for this space, so you’ll indulge me dear reader.

Dear Mary,

If we’re lucky this won’t rip a hole in the space-time continuum. Trust me, you’ll care a lot more about time travel at 32 than you do at 16. At 32 you will have had more time to build up regret, missed opportunities, should haves and could haves. You will also have learned to appreciate the beauty of not getting exactly what you want in the way that you want it. You will grow to understand the necessary union between persistence and patience.

Trust your guts, kid. Right now it feels like you are invisible, and sometimes that’s alright because it means less of the same-old same-old generic bully bullshit in Spanish class, or in gym, or wherefuckingever. I want you to know that someday, within your lifetime, you won’t have to be invisible anymore.

You’re going to hate this country. You’re going to rage against it for a solid decade. You’re going to feel ignored, and afraid, and owned, and owed. But some days you’re going to wake up to news that seems almost impossible. The news will be that they see you. That whatever you end up doing with your love is fine, wherever.

Trust your guts, kid – because what’s right does matter. What’s right doesn’t always win, not right away – but it matters. In your lifetime you will see amazing things. You will see the fruits of a necessary union. You will see, and be seen. You’ll still rage against this country because that’s what it is to be American (something about “…life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”).

Live for the days that make you proud to be something other than “normal”. Live for the days that make you understand that “normal” is relative. Live for the days you know your guts were right the whole time, and you know that you didn’t need a piece of paper to tell you that, but the validation sure is sweet when you can get it.

Most importantly, know that you are your own personal time machine. Know that there is so much ahead of you, and that the unknown is full of impossible things becoming reality.

Yours in Time,


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